We finally have all of Skyler’s bodily fluids sent off to labs to be tested. Yippee! I would have never imagined how difficult it would be to get it all done. It took two weeks to get early morning urine in his little potty so that we could freeze it and overnight Fedex it to two separate companies. Although we are working on potty training, Skyler is just not there yet, so this task became quite a chore. I was definitely glad to see the pee pee go bye bye!
Then there is the matter of blood being drawn. Dr. Biddle ordered a complete panel of basic blood tests. We also purchased a kit to test for food allergies. We were instructed to take this little box with three empty vials to LabCorp or Quest Diagnostics and let them draw the blood for it while they were completing the other tests. Thinking this would easily be accomplished at LabCorp in Shelby, we drove home from Asheville. I waited until my husband was available to go with us to LabCorp because Skyler freaked out quite a bit last time blood was drawn (over a year ago), and I was really nervous. I got myself all prepared and practiced self-soothing techniques (hyperventilating breaths mostly) all the way to Shelby. I walk in with my family, glad this will be over quickly. Then the ladies behind the desk see the allergy kit. You would have thought we walked in with a page of physics formulas and asked them to create cold fusion! They did not attempt to hide their frustration as they began calling their supervisors and asking if they had to do this test. About 20 minutes later, we were told that they were going to take pictures of the test to send to the supervisor and that they would call us. We left with our empty blood vials and headed home.
Over the next two weeks, I called LabCorp at least 4 times. Each time I was told that the supervisor had not gotten back with them, but that they would try to rush the process. Finally, when my husband called yesterday (call #5), we were told that they could not do the test. Two weeks – absolutely wasted!
Today I called Quest Diagnostics, who also declined to do this test. I swear, the test instructions said, “Draw 3 vials of blood (vials were included). Centrifuge the blood. Package the blood and call UPS to pick up the shipment.” They may have used a few more words in the actual instructions, but I am not simplifying – it really was that easy! Why oh why wouldn’t any labs draw the blood for this test? Feeling defeated, I called Dr. Biddle’s office. They suggested that I ask Skyler’s pediatrician to draw the blood. Oh – you mean the official doctor that doesn’t know we are seeing an Integrative doctor to explore biomedical treatments that he won’t administer himself? Sure, why not? Sadly, we were beat down again; the children’s clinic does not draw blood. They send their patients to the hospital. With very little hope in my heart, I called the hospital. They can do the test!
So this afternoon, we drive to the hospital and take one happy little boy up to get blood drawn. We check in, walk back to the lab, and WHAM – they see this allergy test and immediately get on the phone with supervisors. Deja vu! We’re trying to keep Skyler occupied in this little antiseptic room full of needles, and they are complaining on the phone that the test seems difficult? Do you need me to repeat those test instructions? I bet my readers still have them memorized from a few moments ago! Finally, the supervisor comes down and with a calm voice of reason, reads aloud the test instructions. In my mind, she sounds just like Mother Theresa as she ever so kindly tells the lab techs to draw the blood for the test.
Now we’re finally to the moment I have spent two weeks dreading. I run outside where I can’t hear the screams (except in my head) and fervently begin to pray that the needles don’t hurt. My prayers were definitely answered. Skyler screamed loudly when the needle went in, but then settled right down and chatted with the nurses while 8-10 test tubes were filled. He then chose a Snow White sticker (yeah, yeah – he liked the castle in the background) and happily skipped towards the door. So everything is now safely shipped off to secret underground labs, and we just have to wait for results. A bit anticlimactic at this point, but I am glad it’s all over!