Tonight was Skyler’s second Methyl-B12 shot. I made sure to leave this one out of the refrigerator for 30 minutes to allow it to settle to room temperature. I wasn’t as nervous, so the administration of the shot went flawlessly. Skyler didn’t so much as flinch or wiggle during the shot. Afterwards I thought, “That went really well! Alright!” But, then a minute later he started holding his bottom, whining, “Ow! It hurts me! It hurts me!” Darn! The sting lasted off and on about four minutes. Not too bad, but these shots aren’t supposed to hurt. I am going to call the doctor on Monday (if they’re open on July 4th) and see if they can prescribe a numbing cream. If that can take away the sting he feels afterwards, I will feel MUCH better!
My biggest problem right now is figuring out how to get all of these supplements into Skyler. The cod liver oil is really gross (I tasted it today), and I haven’t been able to mix it with liquids because it just floats on top, and he refuses to drink that part. I finally outsmarted Skyler today and bought some mini croissants (he loves bread). I hollowed it out and put the cod liver oil in. The bread soaked it up like butter, and he gobbled it up. Score one for mommy! He takes the probiotic mixed in any drink or inside his breakfast bar, so that is pretty easy. Now, I just need to figure out what to do with the powdered vitamins! Every liquid I put it in turns to a disgusting flavor, and food doesn’t seem to mask the flavor either. I wish we could just go back to his gummy vitamins, but they don’t have nearly the potency and content of this powdered formula. I guess I will just have to keep working on this until I figure it out. Just suffice it to say that this regime is not easy! But, hopefully it will all pay off in the end.
I am having a tough time tonight keeping my head up about all of this. As a parent, you just want your child to be happy. Skyler has always been a happy and easy-going child. Now every time he cries or tantrums I wonder if something I’ve done has made him worse. I am constantly second guessing myself! To add to this feeling, my dad has been complaining about Skyler’s casein-free diet. He feels that Skyler is being deprived of foods like cheese toast and macaroni for no good reason. I argue that sometimes we have to do what’s best for our children, even if it’s not necessarily what they want at the time. But, how do we know for sure that we’re doing what’s best? There’s no manual out there for this journey, and parents are left to just feel their way along blindly. Is it really necessary to give all these supplements and shots? Is it necessary to restrict his diet? I simply don’t know. I love my child EXACTLY AS HE IS – please don’t ever think otherwise. I only do all of this to possibly make his life easier in the future. If I can remove this obstacle from his path, then surely it’s all worth it. Do I sacrifice some of his happiness today for potential future happiness? I have so many questions tonight and so few answers. I just hope that one day Skyler will look back and read this and understand how much I love him. And on that day, I pray he’s Autism-free.